The windy city is mighty pretty but they ain't got we we got ..gales and large waves! It was however, a bone dry day so the wind, apart from making the slices turn into full cakes, was not really a big problem once we got used to it. Scores returned, were on the whole, respectable for the conditions prevailing.

 Ardglass is a delight to play and every year as I wake on 'Hardglass Day', the same thoughts cruise through my tiny one, 'it's a bit away, the traffic in Downpatrick is slow, 1 in 4 gradient car-park and that damned 10th!' October the eighth is also a day special in my heart as my great ,great, great grandfather  General Jose de San Martin established the Peruvian Navy in 1821. A day still remembered within the family with the 'sinking of  the small ships' in bathtubs all around County Antrim.

 In the words of the great Van and couldn't have put it better meself..... 

"On and on, over the hill to Ardglass
In the jamjar, autumn sunshine, magnificent
And all shining through"

   But when I get there and start round the course it becomes worth every bit of effort required. If you have not been, do make the trip next year (should it be on the 2011 fixture list) and you will be really glad that you did. Always in good nick and a pleasure to play on. It was good to see Albert Kirk, brother of Captain James T, after his sojourn at the Ryder Cup which must have been an awful burden, but somebody had to do it!!

 The opening hole would have done credit to Moby Dick with the waves crashing agin the sea wall and required the players to be 'lashed to the mast' to prevent being swept overteebox,it was a truly daunting backdrop. Captain Joe Kearney (on his last outing) and Thomas Kane took great mirth from my Michelin man impression as the wind howled up the back passage of my FJ jacket and caused the front and arms to inflate. It was the wind!!! But I had the last laugh with my 75 yard down the middle drive!

  The round continued with nip and tuck and few moments of great note until we reached the 9th with the view of Coney Island and the par 3 that faces it and a 5 after a magnificent strike landed cruelly out of bounds on it's way to Coney. The dreaded 10th and a birdie by myself and Captain J. Quiet enough the rest of the way in and a fine day ended on a less windy 18th.

 Wash, brush up and a locker room devoid of coat hooks again and then on to some fine food served, due to lack of numbers for the function room, in the restaurant that would pass for  my back bedroom. A cat swung in  such a room would incur, without question, serious head injuries and bring the wrath of Stephen Philpott upon us. Nevertheless, the food was good, the craic was good and the prizes were first class and all I spoke to declared that it was better than being at work. A fine testament to a great day by and in some cases, in the sea.  

 Captain Joe gave a rousing speech about he had enjoyed his year as chief and wished the incoming Captain as good a year as he had had. I always think that those last two words are like a clerical stutter, but they it sounds ok when read.

 Winners.......

  Visitors winner... Chris Spence with a splendid 38 pts.

 Best front nine...Jack McCloskey...15 points.

 Best back nine...  a blasted 14 points from Norman Stockton.

 High Section runner up...  with 29 points, Albert Kirk.

 High Section winner.. A  fine tally of 32 points from Des Magee. 

 Low Section runner up... Joe Kearney with 29 points.

 Low Section winner... 32 points from George Martin.

 Overall runner up.... with 33 points, was Thomas Kane.

 Overall winner.... was David Sloan with an excellent 33 points. 

 I realise that this report is a tad shorter than usual, but I have been busy lately with the Chilean miners and it was a day that was devoid of controversy and incident, for once, and thus difficult to conjure up the usual trials and tribulations.

 Now a short spot of housekeeping... the Annual General Meeting will be held on Friday 5th or 12th of November ( will let you know which shortly) at Belvoir Park Golf Club. All the positions ( secretary, treasurer, sponsorship and committee spots) are up for the taking should you feel the desire to serve this coming year. Submit me your names and I will add them to the agenda. Should you feel that any other matters need addressing please email me and I will see that they are also added and discussed on the night.

 I would like to see discussion on the following society rule changes........

1. Provisional Provisional Ball... If a player hits a ball that he is confident he will be able to find or that he is certain remained within bounds, and he therefore decides not to hit a provisional ball, but then upon reaching the place where he knows it must lie he is nevertheless unable to find his ball or discovers to his surprise and consternation that his ball has gone deeply, totally, and indisputably out-of-bounds, that player may elect to avoid the delay of returning to the tee or some other distant point to hit a second ball from the spot where his original ball was played and instead make a powered drop and throw a ball, without any additional penalty, into whatever part of the fairway he reasonably believes a provisional ball would have come to rest had he hit one in the first place.

2.Peposterous shot... If a player who has been goaded, egged on, or otherwise incited by a fellow player into attempting a hopelessly difficult, plainly impossible, or clearly counterproductive shot proceeds against his own better judgement to engage in the recommended reckless and foolish play, and his effort goes awry, he is entitled to a single repetition of the stroke, without penalty, but if the execution of the ill-advised shot was the subject of, or was occasioned by, a wager between himself and the instigating player, then the terms of that wager, no matter how onerous, shall take precedence over the provisions of this exception.

3.Ball hit under undue pressure... A player is entitled to relief when anxiety-producing conditions exist, as follows:

A. If a player hits his ball into an adjacent fairway, and players on that hole require him to make his next shot under their observation before they continue their play of that hole, and he then not his ball, he may either play it again from the place where it comes to rest without assessing a stroke, or he may wait until those players have vacated the fairway, then return to the approximate spot where his ball originally lay, place it in an equally favourable lie, and replay the stroke.

B. If a player is playing through another group of players on any hole, or has been waved up to hit on a par-three hole by a playing group that then stands aside on the edge of the green and watches, and he proceeds to grossly misplay the hole, his score shall be reduced to whatever score he honestly believes and forcefully asserts that he would have achieved had he not been subjected to stressful conditions of play.

C. If a player is obliged to hit a shot on any hole where groundskeepers are operating grass-cutting machinery, or tending to greens or bunkers, or repairing or reseed-ing damaged turf, or are otherwise engaged in the grooming of the course, and that player makes an unsatisfactory shot, he may replay it once without assessing a stroke, regardless of whether he mis-hit his original ball as a result of his nervous concern for the well-being of the course maintenance personnel or his morbid fear of their ridicule.

4. Ball Renounced in Flight... A player who hits a long, high drive that immediately travels in a clearly undesired direction may disown the ball while it is still in flight and instantly tee up and hit another without assessing a stroke for the first wayward shot, but he must begin his swing at the second ball before the first ball hits the ground, and he must remain in continuous motion throughout this procedure, thereby establishing that both shots took place during a single unbroken period of ball-striking during which he hit duplicate balls concurrently using a dual movement and a double-action swing, rather than hitting a pair of individual balls consecutively with two separate and distinct swings.

 I bid you all a good night (or morning) as I am off to water the slurry and see the leaves off the lawn ( Ballyclare slang) and I hope to see you all at the AGM or the next outing which will be to Dunmurry, Friday 3rd December, 10.30am tee.

 Best Wishes and a Happy Christmas ( Argos started it), MGM (Honsec).